Outer connection begins by going inside to find ourselves

To deepen our connection with the world and with others, we have to begin by deepening our connection with ourselves. This means cultivating an empathic connection with ourselves where we may glimpse our inextricable connection with all life. In this place, it is easier to recognise that there is nothing to fear. When we are able to trust life, we naturally become more authentically ourselves and when we are able to be ourselves, connection follows spontaneously.

When we experience a moment of connection in life, it is not that we suddenly behave very differently or become a different person. Rather, we are relaxed about being ourselves.

In everyday life, however, we tend not to give ourselves permission to be ourselves. We adopt strategies to avoid connection; or to encourage others to connect with us in specific ways. This reflects the difficulty we have in accepting ourselves fully, just as we are, including those parts of ourselves we judge to be imperfect.

Disconnection is never natural. We are connected beings. So when we feel disconnected from someone, I am always doing something to foster the disconnection. 

In addition to cultivating self-empathy to support connection, we can become more aware in times of disconnection of how we are contributing to a situation which we do not really want; and perhaps how we habitually experience or even seek disconnection in certain circumstances. If we can bring our awareness to these patterns, we will find it easier to connect with ourselves rather than disconnecting from life.